I’m starting a new little project. It’s so exciting.
I already read textbooks. Quantum mechanics, astrophysics, inorganic chemistry, algebraic geometry, C. Now that I’m finally the one taking 300-level electives, I’ll be adding classical mechanics and a different, better quantum book. Maybe I’ll find some more supplementary materials, too, seeing as I really should return the ones I have to the library.
My experience with these books has been absolutely amazing. I look at them and see my college life almost defined by them. The day my suitemate let me read her inorgo book. The day I asked if that was Schrödinger’s equation on the wall. I got more than one book out of that one. The time I asked my advisor yet another question about the imbalance between matter and antimatter and got a graduate level textbook in response. Asking questions in calculus and getting answers when I never thought I’d get them. More questions in proofs, another textbook. Questions about theoretical physics research, more supplementary reading. Moments like these, just asking questions, defines my life so precisely I don’t think I could stop if I tried. Sometimes it’s just the asking that matters. Other times, I need the answers. There have been so many times when the answers just weren’t there because the materials weren’t there. So it’s been really amazing to have this opportunity, to have access to be able to ask questions and get answers and maybe find some cool stuff in between.
But there’s one thing those books don’t answer. And now I think I’m finally getting to the point where I’m ready for it.
I want to see what’s out there.
I want to know about electron spin dynamics. Carbon nanotubes. Quantum dots. Photovoltaic cells. Bose-Einstein condensates. Superfluids. And that’s just the surface. There’s so much else out there that I don’t even know about. So I’ll start there. I’ll pick a topic and read some papers. I’ll ask more professors more questions. Questions about graduate school, about research. Questions that, for me, are very much about the future. I told people last year that my summer came straight out of science fiction. Now I realize that, if I want it to be, my whole life can be that. My life can be the science behind the fiction. I’m at the point where I feel I can almost reach it, and that alone makes me unbelievably happy.